At the start of my vanlife journey I had planned to immediately head to Utah, however I made a spontaneous decision to detour and join my tribe for a co-created mini-‘burning man’ like experience to be held at a friend’s remote private property.  What factored into this decision was 1) a safe container was created whereby everyone was required to get a COVID test beforehand and no one could go in or out throughout the weekend and 2) the knowing of being around my creative, supportive, loving tribe. And did it deliver in that.  Upon arrival everyone was full of joy and you could feel so much love and warmth through every hug.  Two of the things that were very present with in this experience were:

There is such power in intimate gatherings – I had been noticing this since the start of quarantine.  As we all slowed down, and then slowly started to engage in small socially distanced outside gatherings, typically in nature or friend’s homes, the time was more intention, more connected.  Conversations were deeper sharing challenges, learnings and opportunities.  This was all possible because there were less distractions in the environment and with fewer people at a gathering you could be really present for those you were with.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a great learning event or dance festival and appreciate the energy a crowd can create, but it has a different intention and impact.  And the intimacy of this gathering – with everyone so present, so safe, so open, so creative – created such a haven of love and deep connection. 

There is such power in man love – Men showing love to other men is beautiful. Yet I find this to be rarer in our society, for heterosexual men to show love openly towards other heterosexual men, and have it just be that, pure love, appreciation and emotional connection as humans.  When a man can show love to another man by being open, vulnerable, affectionate, it allows for them to truly be safe, connect and feel supportive. Why is it that so many men have trouble with this?  Our society thinks men need to be powerful…to be strong. And this often results in them thinking have to do everything on their own, staying on the surface and hide their deeper emotions, otherwise it is a sign of weakness. But this bottles things up inside, and often leaves people feel isolated, even depressed. It is through community and showing each other that they have the same fears, anxieties, or dreams, that allows them to be free from this and connect openly and grow. I’ve seen both sides firsthand, and it is really beautiful to witness the men who have let down their guard to other men.  The result the men in my tribe felt that weekend, and beyond, through their openness and vulnerability, is feeling such incredible support…and above all it brings them joy. This is why it’s important to do it. And in the end, it connects them not only more with other men, but also other women.

The detour was so worth it.  I left the experience smiling and a lasting feeling of what matters most in this world – love.